How to get someone out of a ditch

Many times in life we encounter people who need our assistance and we find ourselves in a position which is superior to them. These people are “in a ditch.” Unfortunately the typical approach to saving someone from a ditch is to get in the ditch and attempt to push them out of the ditch by either letting them stand on our. This approach certainly works, however, you then have the challenge of getting yourself out of the ditch and the only apparent solution then is for them to get back in the ditch to help you. This of course makes no sense.

The proper way to get someone out of a ditch is to simply reach in, let them grab your hand, and to pull them out of the ditch. Seems pretty simple, huh? Then why do so many people choose the first method over the second? The reason is that we are not always aware of the proper way to do things when we are caught up in the situation. What we logically feel we would do when faced with the situation can be quite different than what would we do in a real life situation. Of course I am using this as a metaphor for things such as helping people emotionally, financially, etc.

Many times when we find a friend or loved one in emotional distress, we react instinctively by putting ourselves “in the ditch” with them. In this particular situation, that means we allow ourselves to be upset just like they are. A person who is suffering emotionally needs strength and encouragement. Sympathy certainly has its place, however, your friend or loved one would benefit infinitely more from your example of strength and the offering of your strength than they would from you turning into a puddle of mush.

I’d like to encourage you to, first of all, always maintain your sympathy for others but, secondly, work on developing your skills as a powerful facilitator for change and become someone who always comes from the position of pulling others up toward success and encouraging others to be greater than they currently are. Certainly you’ve heard the phrase, “If you give a man a fish you feed him for a day, but if you TEACH a man to fish you give him food for a lifetime.” The same principle applies here. If you lead by an example of strength, you set an example of power which your friends and or loved ones can benefit from for the rest of their lives. So, if you ever find yourself in a situation where you are asked or compelled to help someone in a lesser position than yourself, keep in mind the basics of pulling someone out of a ditch. You simply reach in and pull. It is a simple process that will save you a lot of time and hopefully will keep you and your friend/loved one out of the ditch permanently.

Steve G. Jones, Clinical Hypnotherapist
http://www.betterlivingwithhypnosis.com/